Sunday, June 7, 2009

Ode to PopCap Games

You jerks. Why are you making games that are so addictive? They seem harmless, at first. But just as I was researching your site for nice things to say about you, I stumbled onto a free trial of Bookworm. Zap. There goes an hour of my life that I will never get back. "Yods" doesn't even sound like a word, but it won me 600 points.

You made Bejeweled, and moms all over the world have been in your grasp ever since. Sequels, and pseudo-sequels, and everyone still loves you. On their computer at work, on iPhone... your reach is limitless.

You just released Plants Vs. Zombies, and everyone loves it. A tower defense game, and it won numerous Game of the Month awards, despite the fact that that tired genre was originally created roughly twenty years ago. Your best selling game ever.

Feeding Frenzy, Zuma, Astropop, you can do no wrong... and I hate you. Now that you're on 360, the quest for achievements makes your games even more time-consuming. And Peggle is on WoW... what's next? Feeding Frenzy in the shower, on the fogged mirror on the wall, with your soapy finger? Perhaps.

That is all the attention you get. I must get back to Bookworm.

Thanks for nothing, PopCap. You addictive jerks. Why can't I quit you?

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