Third-person action/adventure games - the most derivative of all game genres. No matter how good/unique your game is, critics and the public will all declare it "like Zelda." It seems like the only way to escape the Zelda stigma is to include guns in your game (Ratchet & Clank).
Example: Okami. PS2's answer to Zelda. You got to be a wolf, there was a silent protagonist, you ran errands for villagers, you explored dungeons. Sounds like Zelda. Sure, there was a painting mechanic, and a cool art-style, but nobody cared except the critics. This game single-handedly closed Clover Studios.
Example: Beyond Good and Evil. Third-person adventure, hit bad guys with a stick, similar controls, pretty female protagonist (HA take that, Link!). The setting was unique, and the story was interesting, and the characters had... character. But the game felt like Zelda, even though there were no dungeons to explore or princesses to rescue. The photography aspect was cool too. Nobody played this game either.
More examples: Malice, Haven: Call of the King, Jak and Daxter, Dark Cloud, Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee, Psychonauts, Fable. All of these games have aspects that help separate themselves from Zelda's shadow, but many feel like that's all they do. Zelda with a hammer, Zelda with psychic powers, Zelda with experience points, Zelda with farts. Zelda wasn't the first, but it did it the best. I don't know if it will ever be topped by cookie-cutter games.
One thing's for sure, however: when (if?) a unique game comes along that turns the Zelda gameplay on its ear, I'll be the first in line to pick it up. With so many "me too" games flooding the market, I could really go for a breath of fresh air.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Guess who won the Punch-Out!! tournament?
This guy.
Here are my prizes: the poster announcing the tourney, a sweet bumper sticker I'll stick on my car after I finally wash it, and a Little Mac T-shirt, black, size XL. Which I will never take out of the bag because someday it'll be worth all money. Then I can sell it and buy a Ferrari! Aw, dreams.
So what if nobody else showed up? That doesn't mean I didn't train until 3 a.m. this morning! I was ready to use those gimmicky (yet still kinda cool) motion controls to lay down a whoopin' on any 10-year-olds in my way.
+2 experience for being in the right place at the right time.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Unappreciated Fantasy
Final Fantasy VIII - the most unappreciated Final Fantasy. But why? After the juggernaut of FFVII, it seemed like nothing short of the second coming of Jesus could compare to the masterpiece that preceded VIII. It had the same futuristic setting, but the characters were made to look more realistic. The graphics were much better overall, and the characters had similarly charming personalities and flaws.
The biggest polarizing aspect for fans was undoubtedly the Draw system. Instead of MP, you would Draw your magic from enemies. Harder enemies = stronger spells. You could then fuse your magic to your stats, making you resistant to fire, for example. If you wanted mega-stats, you would simply draw magic from enemies, over and over and over and over. Some people dug the customizable potential it afforded, most people hated the repetitiveness.
My favorite part (and biggest time suck) was the Triple Triad card game. You could play cards with pretty much everyone in the game, winning cards when you win, and losing cards when you lose. It was supremely addictive, and it was one of the main reasons I never actually finished the game. I was too obsessed with getting every card... way more fun than Pokemon. They tried to recreate the card mini-game experience in FFIX, but it just didn't have the same soul. It became too random, and felt more like Risk than a card game, where a lucky roll of the dice could mean a small army destroys a much bigger army 300 style. You can still play the Triple Triad card game online here.
Final Fantasy VIII was also one of the very, very few U.S. games that was PocketStation compatible. Remember that thing? Sony's first foray into the handheld market was this Tamagotchi-esqe monochrome VMU. It never came out stateside, but I imported one just to play it with FFVII. (I thought it would work with Street Fighter Alpha 3, too, but they took that compatibility out in the localization... jerks.) You plug the PocketStation into your memory card slot and download the game onto it. You could play this mini-game, called Chocobo World, I think, to level up your Chocobo summon to god-like status. It was pretty simple. You'd cruise your chocobo around a giant square world map to certain points where you'd battle a cactuar by pushing the buttons really fast, leveling up as you did. At level 50, you see a cutscene and your summon would become stronger. At level 100, my PocketStation glitched and I didn't get the 2nd cutscene. But you can't level up any higher... so I stopped playing my PocketStation. Thanks, Japan.
So why didn't people care about VIII? Squall was a cool character, a lot less whiny than Cloud and a snazzier dresser. There was a love story, and it worked well and kept you playing. Sure, the way you made money was kind of weird... You pass all the tests at the beginning of the game, then you never have to worry about money again. You just get it automatically every few minutes just for having a high "rank." They were multiple choice tests, and you had to get them all right, but simple memorization and persistent test re-taking eventually led you to the top rank. Or you could find the answers in PSM. Either way works. But Final Fantasy VIII is not seen as a masterpiece by many, even though it improved on VII in nearly every way. Was it the release date? The same day as the doomed Dreamcast? Maybe Sega should have been more worried about that... the graphics were pretty much the same quality as the 32-bit PlayStation at the time. Oh well. Who knows?
The biggest polarizing aspect for fans was undoubtedly the Draw system. Instead of MP, you would Draw your magic from enemies. Harder enemies = stronger spells. You could then fuse your magic to your stats, making you resistant to fire, for example. If you wanted mega-stats, you would simply draw magic from enemies, over and over and over and over. Some people dug the customizable potential it afforded, most people hated the repetitiveness.
My favorite part (and biggest time suck) was the Triple Triad card game. You could play cards with pretty much everyone in the game, winning cards when you win, and losing cards when you lose. It was supremely addictive, and it was one of the main reasons I never actually finished the game. I was too obsessed with getting every card... way more fun than Pokemon. They tried to recreate the card mini-game experience in FFIX, but it just didn't have the same soul. It became too random, and felt more like Risk than a card game, where a lucky roll of the dice could mean a small army destroys a much bigger army 300 style. You can still play the Triple Triad card game online here.
Final Fantasy VIII was also one of the very, very few U.S. games that was PocketStation compatible. Remember that thing? Sony's first foray into the handheld market was this Tamagotchi-esqe monochrome VMU. It never came out stateside, but I imported one just to play it with FFVII. (I thought it would work with Street Fighter Alpha 3, too, but they took that compatibility out in the localization... jerks.) You plug the PocketStation into your memory card slot and download the game onto it. You could play this mini-game, called Chocobo World, I think, to level up your Chocobo summon to god-like status. It was pretty simple. You'd cruise your chocobo around a giant square world map to certain points where you'd battle a cactuar by pushing the buttons really fast, leveling up as you did. At level 50, you see a cutscene and your summon would become stronger. At level 100, my PocketStation glitched and I didn't get the 2nd cutscene. But you can't level up any higher... so I stopped playing my PocketStation. Thanks, Japan.
So why didn't people care about VIII? Squall was a cool character, a lot less whiny than Cloud and a snazzier dresser. There was a love story, and it worked well and kept you playing. Sure, the way you made money was kind of weird... You pass all the tests at the beginning of the game, then you never have to worry about money again. You just get it automatically every few minutes just for having a high "rank." They were multiple choice tests, and you had to get them all right, but simple memorization and persistent test re-taking eventually led you to the top rank. Or you could find the answers in PSM. Either way works. But Final Fantasy VIII is not seen as a masterpiece by many, even though it improved on VII in nearly every way. Was it the release date? The same day as the doomed Dreamcast? Maybe Sega should have been more worried about that... the graphics were pretty much the same quality as the 32-bit PlayStation at the time. Oh well. Who knows?
Thursday, May 28, 2009
An analogy to describe my first impressions of Punch-Out!! on Wii
You know when you listen to a CD, and you learn all the words, and you fall in love with the band, and then you go see them in concert, and it's just incredible?
Alright. You also know how when you listen to a comedy CD, then you learn all the jokes, and you fall in love with the comedian, and then you go see him in concert, and it SUCKS because you know every punchline?
That's how it is with Punch-Out!! on Wii. You played the original Punch-Out! and Super Punch-Out! to death, and this is the same game with prettier graphics. You know every jab, and every boxer's tell-tale signs, and all you need is the quick reflexes you honed back in the late 80's and early 90's.
It doesn't suck. It's fun. But it's the exact same fun you had 15 years ago. Is that a long enough wait for you to have forgotten the "punch"lines?
Alright. You also know how when you listen to a comedy CD, then you learn all the jokes, and you fall in love with the comedian, and then you go see him in concert, and it SUCKS because you know every punchline?
That's how it is with Punch-Out!! on Wii. You played the original Punch-Out! and Super Punch-Out! to death, and this is the same game with prettier graphics. You know every jab, and every boxer's tell-tale signs, and all you need is the quick reflexes you honed back in the late 80's and early 90's.
It doesn't suck. It's fun. But it's the exact same fun you had 15 years ago. Is that a long enough wait for you to have forgotten the "punch"lines?
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tipping the Scale
Scale has always been a strange technical issue in video games. You're limited by the size of the character, and the camera angle, and the hardware. In old NES games like Zelda 2, Link was the same size on the world map as an entire village. Once he was actually in the village, the buildings were bigger, yet the inside dimensions never seemed to match the outside, like that magical car from Harry Potter that could seat seven comfortably in the back seat while appearing to be a standard size from the outside. Later (much later), Final Fantasy VIII graced the PS1, and towns were finally getting a sense of scale. Sure, Squall still appeared to be as tall as the buildings while outside the city limits, but at least they weren't the same dimensions anymore. I just think it was the hardware. The one game I can think of in that entire console generation that had an entire world set to scale was Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind. If you wanted to walk somewhere, it took you as long as it would in real life. It was improved even farther in Oblivion, and we now had a living, breathing world that resembled our own, if our own world had goblins lurking behind the registers at Wal-Mart.
Come to think of it, first-person-perspecitve games were always in scale. But the scope of the levels was always so constrained. Remember the first TimeSplitters that debuted with the PS2? The one where you didn't even have to look up or down, a la Doom? The levels, especially compared to sprawling RPG's like anything Square produced, were miniscule. Luckily, technology and game budgets nowadays are so out of control that even low-impact games can have a sense of scale and verisimilitude. Unless its Nintendo, then you're still doomed to be stuck with the kawaii big head, little feet, Pep Boys look. Hope you sprites have been working out your neck muscles! You're going to need them.
Come to think of it, first-person-perspecitve games were always in scale. But the scope of the levels was always so constrained. Remember the first TimeSplitters that debuted with the PS2? The one where you didn't even have to look up or down, a la Doom? The levels, especially compared to sprawling RPG's like anything Square produced, were miniscule. Luckily, technology and game budgets nowadays are so out of control that even low-impact games can have a sense of scale and verisimilitude. Unless its Nintendo, then you're still doomed to be stuck with the kawaii big head, little feet, Pep Boys look. Hope you sprites have been working out your neck muscles! You're going to need them.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Vital Stats
TheGameLlama
Level: 4
HP: 82/100
Experience to next level: 1,337 points
Strength: 40
Perception: 21 (needs glasses)
Endurance: 25
Charisma: 68
Intelligence: 88
Agility: 35
Luck: 50
Inventory:
- 360 games - 40 (3 unopened)
- PS2 games - over 100
- Wii games - 18
- Wii games being enjoyed currently - 0
- 6 plastic guitars
- 2 real guitars
- 4 gaming microphones
- Mountain Dew and Cheetohs (a.k.a. dinner)
- Dive-bombing cockatiel
- Geriatric cat of self-licking
- Ceramic lawn gnome
- $3 Salvation Army thrift store wall art
- 5-foot-tall cardboard Tiki man
Quest:
- Success - Find it. Slay a dragon, perhaps? They guard that, right? Next to the gold?
Secondary Quest:
- Go to work, bring home the bacon.
- Blog.
- Teach self web design.
Level: 4
HP: 82/100
Experience to next level: 1,337 points
Strength: 40
Perception: 21 (needs glasses)
Endurance: 25
Charisma: 68
Intelligence: 88
Agility: 35
Luck: 50
Inventory:
- 360 games - 40 (3 unopened)
- PS2 games - over 100
- Wii games - 18
- Wii games being enjoyed currently - 0
- 6 plastic guitars
- 2 real guitars
- 4 gaming microphones
- Mountain Dew and Cheetohs (a.k.a. dinner)
- Dive-bombing cockatiel
- Geriatric cat of self-licking
- Ceramic lawn gnome
- $3 Salvation Army thrift store wall art
- 5-foot-tall cardboard Tiki man
Quest:
- Success - Find it. Slay a dragon, perhaps? They guard that, right? Next to the gold?
Secondary Quest:
- Go to work, bring home the bacon.
- Blog.
- Teach self web design.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Those ******* Aussies.
I've scoured the whole Internet, from Wikipedia to Yahoo! to the Australian Ratings board, and I am finding incredibly wide gaps in the consistency of Australian censorship. Apparently, it's OK to broadcast The Osbournes uncensored and have full frontal nudity in their SOAP OPERAS as long as you don't show someone's head exploding in a video game. Their music industry has three different "obscene" ratings, yet F-bombs are just fine on TV, as long as it's after 8:30 p.m.?! Ridiculous. And it's alright to have porn, as long as you import it. It's illegal to buy it in the country. Plenty of games are banned, too, then later reinstated after a particular bit is removed or edited (see: any GTA game). But they don't remove all the offensive stuff, just enough to make it a M15+ game. Like in GTA IV, you can pick up a hooker, but you can't swing the camera around and look in the windshield to see what she's doing. But it's still completely fine to chase her with a baseball bat and beat your money out of her afterwards.
There are so many weird things to get censored for in Australia. Fallout 3 was banned because it blurred the line between sci-fi drugs and real drugs. Bethesda took out the word "morphine" (it's called Med-X in the game) and removed the shooting-up animation and Fallout 3 was reinstated. It was also edited for Japan (they don't like atom bombs much over there) and it was not released in India at all (there are two-headed cows).
The average gamer in Australia is 30 years old. If they are going to censor TV, video games, movies, books, music, and all other art forms, both passive and immersive, the Aussies need to find a more consistent method of going about it. If you don't want boobies on TV destroying their child's innocence, fine. Get rid of them from everywhere. Picking and choosing where it's OK to see them just confuses children, grown-ups, and foreigners like me. I'm getting mixed messages, Australia! Can I swear and see violence/nudity or not? It seems that I can, as long as I stick to the appropriate format. Network TV, here I come!
There are so many weird things to get censored for in Australia. Fallout 3 was banned because it blurred the line between sci-fi drugs and real drugs. Bethesda took out the word "morphine" (it's called Med-X in the game) and removed the shooting-up animation and Fallout 3 was reinstated. It was also edited for Japan (they don't like atom bombs much over there) and it was not released in India at all (there are two-headed cows).
The average gamer in Australia is 30 years old. If they are going to censor TV, video games, movies, books, music, and all other art forms, both passive and immersive, the Aussies need to find a more consistent method of going about it. If you don't want boobies on TV destroying their child's innocence, fine. Get rid of them from everywhere. Picking and choosing where it's OK to see them just confuses children, grown-ups, and foreigners like me. I'm getting mixed messages, Australia! Can I swear and see violence/nudity or not? It seems that I can, as long as I stick to the appropriate format. Network TV, here I come!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Time out!
Time travel in games has always been a tricky subject, yet that hasn't stopped numerous companies from trying it out (see: Shadow of Destiny, Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time, Braid, Chrono Trigger, Ocarina of Time, Prince of Persia, and plenty of others). The big paradox with time travel, though, is that if you go back in the past and affect something, you present will not change. It's in the past. Chronologically, you've already changed the past, and your present should be exactly the same. It's destiny. It's complicated, what with all the parallel universes that "could" be created by dabbling in the affairs of history. Games tend to ignore the idea that you can't affect the future. I mean, come on, the whole idea of playing a game is reliant on the idea that you can affect the game's/world's outcome. But did you ever see/read The Time Machine? He made a time machine to save his girlfriend's life, went back in time and saved her, and then she just found a different way to die. If she hadn't died, the time machine would not have been created, so the mere existence of the time machine ensured that she would eventually have to die to necessitate its creation. It's circular and very, very fate-based.
If I was Bill Gates and had a time machine, I'd go back in time and make the PS3 have the Red Ring of Death instead of my precious 360. But the world would already be like that if he did indeed have a time machine... so maybe Shigeru Miyamoto is the one with the time machine? He did invent Mario, Zelda, and Metroid. Despite the Nintendo president's recent assertion, he may, in fact, actually be God. Or at least own a time machine.
If I was Bill Gates and had a time machine, I'd go back in time and make the PS3 have the Red Ring of Death instead of my precious 360. But the world would already be like that if he did indeed have a time machine... so maybe Shigeru Miyamoto is the one with the time machine? He did invent Mario, Zelda, and Metroid. Despite the Nintendo president's recent assertion, he may, in fact, actually be God. Or at least own a time machine.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Denied!
Wal-Mart recently told Green Day that, unless they offer a censored version of their new album, 21st Century Breakdown, they would not stock it at all. Green Day said, "Fine, but we're not going to censor our music. Don't stock our album then." Wal-Mart is the biggest music retailer in the country (and maybe the world... not sure on that). Green Day debuted at #1. Hmm.
There are no "edited versions" of games... yet. Will there be? I don't think so. Game companies won't make games that would receive an AO rating because major retailers refuse to sell them. However, the M rating is being stretched further and further, much like the MA rating on TV. Ever since South Park used "the S word," it has seeped into other networks like FX (see: Nip/Tuck and Rescue Me). Nip/Tuck is also practically softcore porn! It seems like nowadays the only thing you can't say on cable TV is the F-bomb and you can show most of the butt, just no nipples or full frontal. But that will change eventually. Our society is degrading at a rapid pace, and it's taking us all down with it. I think South Park would love to be the first show to use the F word - it'd be like receiving an Emmy for them.
Games have swear words, yet it doesn't make them more "adult." It just makes them more vulgar. Remember GTA III? Not a single F-word. GTA: Chinatown Wars? F this, F that... it's the only word these pixelated gangsters seem to recognize. And then there's House of the Dead: Overkill... sigh. Without Wal-Mart editing our art, who's going to save us from our fragile, vile selves? Our parents? Nah, they had their chance. Maybe the government should step in! Weeee!
There are no "edited versions" of games... yet. Will there be? I don't think so. Game companies won't make games that would receive an AO rating because major retailers refuse to sell them. However, the M rating is being stretched further and further, much like the MA rating on TV. Ever since South Park used "the S word," it has seeped into other networks like FX (see: Nip/Tuck and Rescue Me). Nip/Tuck is also practically softcore porn! It seems like nowadays the only thing you can't say on cable TV is the F-bomb and you can show most of the butt, just no nipples or full frontal. But that will change eventually. Our society is degrading at a rapid pace, and it's taking us all down with it. I think South Park would love to be the first show to use the F word - it'd be like receiving an Emmy for them.
Games have swear words, yet it doesn't make them more "adult." It just makes them more vulgar. Remember GTA III? Not a single F-word. GTA: Chinatown Wars? F this, F that... it's the only word these pixelated gangsters seem to recognize. And then there's House of the Dead: Overkill... sigh. Without Wal-Mart editing our art, who's going to save us from our fragile, vile selves? Our parents? Nah, they had their chance. Maybe the government should step in! Weeee!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Catalog THIS in your Dewey Decimal System.
Now that video games are becoming more recognized as "art," there is a growing movement amongst some of the geek elite to preserve their legacy for future generations to enjoy. And why not? Gutenberg Bibles are worth millions. Old Disney VHS tapes are worth hundreds of dollars each. The Beatles' White Album can't be found at a used record store for less than $50. Games start off being pretty expensive, and the price has never really changed much. Final Fantasy III (or VI, whatever you call it) was $80 when it first came out on Super Nintendo. Today, Fallout 3 is $60. But games decrease in value after a time, and a select few eventually become more valuable. Especially RPG's - Dragon Warrior IV, Shining Force, Phantasy Star, Final Fantasies, etc. But why does the enjoyment of old games have to be confined to the few people that can actually afford to drop a Benjamin on an original NES cartridge?
Let's get games into public libraries. Books are in libraries and people still go to bookstores. A lot of newer movies are free in libraries and yet people still rent movies. Old games, for some reason or another, have no forum in which they can be rented or played without actually owning them. Blockbuster and Movie Gallery have the entire center section of their stores dedicated to older movies, all the way back to the silent film era. Why can't there be a place we can go to enjoy classic games for $1 a week? Is this more viable than getting games into libraries, there's a profit to be made now! Sure, it can be hard to get many old NES carts to work... but that definitely doesn't mean that they're broken. Blow in it, slide it into the system so it barely makes it past the edge, pop the cart halfway up, turn your NES upside down, there are all manner of getting these old classics to boot up. If there was a mom and pop retro game rental store in my neighborhood, you can be sure that I'd be one of those kids hanging out there after class, waxing nostalgic with other gamers who also recall the good old days when "graphics" were a luxury and a "soundtrack" was synthesized MIDI beeps and boops. Sweet memories... would someone please get on this?
Let's get games into public libraries. Books are in libraries and people still go to bookstores. A lot of newer movies are free in libraries and yet people still rent movies. Old games, for some reason or another, have no forum in which they can be rented or played without actually owning them. Blockbuster and Movie Gallery have the entire center section of their stores dedicated to older movies, all the way back to the silent film era. Why can't there be a place we can go to enjoy classic games for $1 a week? Is this more viable than getting games into libraries, there's a profit to be made now! Sure, it can be hard to get many old NES carts to work... but that definitely doesn't mean that they're broken. Blow in it, slide it into the system so it barely makes it past the edge, pop the cart halfway up, turn your NES upside down, there are all manner of getting these old classics to boot up. If there was a mom and pop retro game rental store in my neighborhood, you can be sure that I'd be one of those kids hanging out there after class, waxing nostalgic with other gamers who also recall the good old days when "graphics" were a luxury and a "soundtrack" was synthesized MIDI beeps and boops. Sweet memories... would someone please get on this?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Tournament Time, Part II
Saturday, May 30th. The next GameStop tournament is coming to a town near you... Punch-Out!! That's right, Nintendo's newest and oldest fighter has a weak multiplayer mode that is apparently fun enough to make a tournament out of. You have to use the not-so-precise Wii Sports Boxing-esque motion controls and the only prize is a t-shirt for the winner. Who cares? Being the best in your city at something and winning a sure-to-be-amazing Punch-Out!! T-shirt is more than many average people could ask for. Sure, it might not be able to compete with the pink hoodie given out at the Nintendo World Store in NYC, but it would still fetch a pretty penny on eBay in a few months... or at least make all your retro-geek friends uber-jealous.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Who are the Gamers?
Video games have changed over the last 30 years from simple PONG and Space Invaders clones into a multi-billion dollar industry where games are on par with the relentless Hollywood machine that has been churning out pop culture for nearly three times as long. The people that play them have changed, as well. No longer are video games relegated to the basements of pimply nerds that have never seen a boob and spend their nights debating long and hard over the merits of D&D 4th Edition versus 3rd. Now, moms are gamers. Grandmas are gamers. Nerds are... still gamers. My cat is a gamer. Vin Diesel is a gamer. Spielberg is a gamer. Obama has a Wii. A recent study claims that American adults today have a 50/50 chance of being a gamer. So what is a "gamer" now, anyway? It doesn't seem like it should be a stigma on your popularity anymore, does it? If so, then half the country is unpopular. And Obama would have to be uncool, too. The only reason he got elected is because he's so cool! What is a gamer today, then?
MTV thinks they know. They had an episode of True Life profiling professional gamers, including one guy who works the "underground" circuit... the dank, seedy underbelly of the digital world that Miyamoto pretends doesn't exist. The real pros (at least at Halo) were teenage gangsta wannabe types that dropped out of school to play games for a living. Sounds like a pipe dream for the average American that has to hold down a full-time job.
Spike TV thinks they have the answer, too. The Spike Video Game Awards bring movie and TV celebrities (Lindsey Lohan? Really?) to the stage to give awards to games and people they've probably never heard of. Sure, the average celebrity probably looks a whole lot better on a poster than the average gamer does, but the commercialization of video game award shows may have the same effect on "real" award ceremonies (like the Interactive Achievement Awards) that the Wii's influence has had on the term "gamer."
Maybe Lionsgate knows the answer. Gamer, a movie about - gamers - is coming out this fall and will star Gerard Butler. Nothing like a little more press for our favorite pastime, eh?
Wikipedia has a fun little article on gamers, labeling the different groups, segregating people who play games into neat little social circles... but isn't the new "everybody can play" Wii mentality supposed to destroy these labels? It won't happen, but we can hope, can't we? However, many "hardcore" and "pro" gamers would hate to be included in the same group with people that just want to play a quick game of Peggle or Mob Wars before bed, and many "casual" gamers don't even consider the few stolen moments of their lives to be actual "gaming."
If you read this blog, you are probably a gamer. If you are an American, you are probably a gamer. If you have the kind of expendable income that could feed an entire third-world village for weeks at a time, you probably waste that money on selfish things... like games. You pay for an experience, an escape. An escape from what? That's what makes us all different. But in the Halo or Call of Duty lobby, we can all be friends sharing similar experiences, as gamers. Awww, sweet togetherness.
MTV thinks they know. They had an episode of True Life profiling professional gamers, including one guy who works the "underground" circuit... the dank, seedy underbelly of the digital world that Miyamoto pretends doesn't exist. The real pros (at least at Halo) were teenage gangsta wannabe types that dropped out of school to play games for a living. Sounds like a pipe dream for the average American that has to hold down a full-time job.
Spike TV thinks they have the answer, too. The Spike Video Game Awards bring movie and TV celebrities (Lindsey Lohan? Really?) to the stage to give awards to games and people they've probably never heard of. Sure, the average celebrity probably looks a whole lot better on a poster than the average gamer does, but the commercialization of video game award shows may have the same effect on "real" award ceremonies (like the Interactive Achievement Awards) that the Wii's influence has had on the term "gamer."
Maybe Lionsgate knows the answer. Gamer, a movie about - gamers - is coming out this fall and will star Gerard Butler. Nothing like a little more press for our favorite pastime, eh?
Wikipedia has a fun little article on gamers, labeling the different groups, segregating people who play games into neat little social circles... but isn't the new "everybody can play" Wii mentality supposed to destroy these labels? It won't happen, but we can hope, can't we? However, many "hardcore" and "pro" gamers would hate to be included in the same group with people that just want to play a quick game of Peggle or Mob Wars before bed, and many "casual" gamers don't even consider the few stolen moments of their lives to be actual "gaming."
If you read this blog, you are probably a gamer. If you are an American, you are probably a gamer. If you have the kind of expendable income that could feed an entire third-world village for weeks at a time, you probably waste that money on selfish things... like games. You pay for an experience, an escape. An escape from what? That's what makes us all different. But in the Halo or Call of Duty lobby, we can all be friends sharing similar experiences, as gamers. Awww, sweet togetherness.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
English Beat
Why does England get all the cool video game magazines? Retro Gamer, Games TM, X360, PowerStation... sure, they have American counterparts (Game Informer, Play, GamePro, Nintendo Power, PlayStation: The Official Magazine, Tips & Tricks), but have you even looked in an issue of Retro Gamer? BAM POW SLAM fan love e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. It harkens back to a day when homebrewers could release the next big, cool thing from a Tandy sitting in their mom's basement. There was no Madden franchise, or Tony Hawk re-hash, or Guitar Hero: Aly and AJ Edition. Gaming was pure, and the entire magazine makes me feel that the gaming landscape across the seas is so much more unpolluted than over here.
I'd buy a subscription, but it's £80.00 for a year. That's about $126, and I could subscribe to practically every U.S. game magazine for that price, even the ones that come with "free" demo discs. Bleh.
I'd buy a subscription, but it's £80.00 for a year. That's about $126, and I could subscribe to practically every U.S. game magazine for that price, even the ones that come with "free" demo discs. Bleh.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Auto-pilot
When you crash your car, the airbags deploy. There are even some new Mercedes Benzes that sense the crash and roll up the windows, adjust the seat for impact, tighten the seat belts, and close the sunroof. (Imagine if your seat adjusted, your seat belt locked, and your windows rolled up when you were just driving down the road, minding your own business! That'd freak me out, for sure.) When will the same safety features be implemented into online games? Oh no, you're down by 50,000 points on Rock Band! Auto-disconnect! Punk'd! Now who wins? Yeah, it might crush your reputation, but whatever. Now if we could only find a way to keep it from decreasing your TrueSkill rank... the cheating would be complete. We might be branded and lose all our Gamerscore, but that's a risk we'd have to take to win in life. Or win in games. Or whatever's important. I don't know.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wii(Shovel)Ware
There are WiiWare minimum sales requirements. In North America, if a game is over 16 mb, it has to sell 6,000 for the developers to see a profit. Under 16 mb, they only need to sell 4,000. Considering that there are over 20,000,000 Wiis in the world, that doesn't seem like too many, even considering how few people connect their systems to the internet. The idea is that it will prevent developers from constantly releasing crap shovelware titles, clogging the WiiWare catalog with sub-par games. If only retail Wii games would abide by the same methodology... maybe we wouldn't have "games" like Imagine: Party Babiez clogging the shelf space while lesser-known gems like Klonoa and Zack & Wiki are relegated to the bargain bins.
Remember the Official Nintendo Seal of Quality, a symbol (and a new way of thinking) that helped revitalize the video game industry after E.T. destroyed it? Nintendo should bring that back, and make quality matter again. Nintendo's first-party offerings continue to be terrific, but one great new game a year won't keep your system going. Third parties need to step up, and Nintendo needs to reach down a hand a give them a boost.
Remember the Official Nintendo Seal of Quality, a symbol (and a new way of thinking) that helped revitalize the video game industry after E.T. destroyed it? Nintendo should bring that back, and make quality matter again. Nintendo's first-party offerings continue to be terrific, but one great new game a year won't keep your system going. Third parties need to step up, and Nintendo needs to reach down a hand a give them a boost.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The good old days are back again
Look.
ThinkGeek has released a portable NES game player that looks a bit like a Game Gear, only gray and with a giant NES cartridge sticking out of the top. It's a lot like a Nomad, only 8-bit. Also, it's only $50! The Escapist didn't like it... but I would totally load up on batteries and hit the town. If only I took the bus! I'd never see the other riders again, what do I care if they think I'm a dork? Maybe it'd even be a good conversation starter, "Oh, you're playing Mega Man 2? Awesome! Can I have next?" No. No you can't.
It comes with AV cables that let you plug it into your TV, but there doesn't appear to even be an option for an AC adaptor. The only way I played Game Gear was with it plugged into the wall. I didn't want to buy 6 more double-A's every two hours to play Sonic. This one isn't that bad, with 4 AA's giving you about 8 hours of playtime... but still. Would it have been so hard to let you use the AC adaptor that comes with the DS, or even the old-school original NES power brick? Yeah, it's hefty, but it would just add to the 1337 geek factor.
ThinkGeek has released a portable NES game player that looks a bit like a Game Gear, only gray and with a giant NES cartridge sticking out of the top. It's a lot like a Nomad, only 8-bit. Also, it's only $50! The Escapist didn't like it... but I would totally load up on batteries and hit the town. If only I took the bus! I'd never see the other riders again, what do I care if they think I'm a dork? Maybe it'd even be a good conversation starter, "Oh, you're playing Mega Man 2? Awesome! Can I have next?" No. No you can't.
It comes with AV cables that let you plug it into your TV, but there doesn't appear to even be an option for an AC adaptor. The only way I played Game Gear was with it plugged into the wall. I didn't want to buy 6 more double-A's every two hours to play Sonic. This one isn't that bad, with 4 AA's giving you about 8 hours of playtime... but still. Would it have been so hard to let you use the AC adaptor that comes with the DS, or even the old-school original NES power brick? Yeah, it's hefty, but it would just add to the 1337 geek factor.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The Interwebs
The Wii has one thing on the 360 and the PS3... a web browser. Why oh why is the family-friendly Wii allowed access to all the inappropriateness of the internet while far more advanced systems are left in the cold? A web browser was rumored to be included with the New Xbox Experience (NXE), but those rumors were proven false. As it stands now, the Wii, the system least-connected yet with the greatest market saturation, is the only system that can get on the web without having to be hacked. Oh, the PSP works too... but there's no keyboard for that! Maybe if they released a peripheral like the 360 controller/keyboard that comes with the messenger kit then it would discover some viability as a "connected" platform.
Eugh. There is no real good reason that the 360 and PS3 continue to refuse to release a web browser. Aren't game systems of the future trying to become more like multimedia extravaganzas? With Blu-Ray, HDDVD, media centers, CD burning, and movie downloading/watching, these systems do it all... except let you check your MySpace. Sure, there are viruses on the 'Net. But it will be at least a few days before a hacker creates a virus just to infect your Xbox save files and steal your GamerTag. The Mac has just recently been introduced to the wonderful world of computer viruses, and it's been around for 20 years. I'm sure your MGS4 snapshots will remain safe.
I understand that not many people will use their 360's or PS3's to surf the web, but wouldn't you at least like the option? When my PC went on the fritz, my Wii actually saw some use - it became my only connection to the wide outside web world. It's nice to have a back-up plan. When my 360 red-ringed, I still had a launch-day PS2 that continues to work just fine. Same concept. But with the Internet! See?
Eugh. There is no real good reason that the 360 and PS3 continue to refuse to release a web browser. Aren't game systems of the future trying to become more like multimedia extravaganzas? With Blu-Ray, HDDVD, media centers, CD burning, and movie downloading/watching, these systems do it all... except let you check your MySpace. Sure, there are viruses on the 'Net. But it will be at least a few days before a hacker creates a virus just to infect your Xbox save files and steal your GamerTag. The Mac has just recently been introduced to the wonderful world of computer viruses, and it's been around for 20 years. I'm sure your MGS4 snapshots will remain safe.
I understand that not many people will use their 360's or PS3's to surf the web, but wouldn't you at least like the option? When my PC went on the fritz, my Wii actually saw some use - it became my only connection to the wide outside web world. It's nice to have a back-up plan. When my 360 red-ringed, I still had a launch-day PS2 that continues to work just fine. Same concept. But with the Internet! See?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
100th Post! Woo! Woo... Whew...
100 posts in about as many days. I had roughly one day a month where I didn't have access to a computer and I missed a post, but all in all, I'd say I've done pretty well. I didn't take weekends off, or holidays, or sick days. Pretty consistent for some n00b that's never had a blog before. I only have, like, 7 readers, but I still feel that I have an obligation, if not to them, then to myself, to continue. One day in January 2009, I simply said to myself, "You know, I really want to write about video games for a living." I did some research, and found out that the best way to start doing that was to write about games without getting paid, just for the love of the game! So here I am.
Sure, some days, it's hard to come up with a topic, and I have to scour the day's game news for something interesting. Some days, I have to choose to blog during my one free hour between my two jobs instead of eating lunch. But it's my blog, and I can write about anything I want. True, Blogger isn't the most powerful, feature-filled blogging tool in the universe, but it's free, and I can use it to share some of my thoughts and insights with the world, whether the world actually listens or not. The world will hear, eventually. I haven't given up yet.
I've sunk many, many hours into this. Is it worth it? It will be.
Sure, some days, it's hard to come up with a topic, and I have to scour the day's game news for something interesting. Some days, I have to choose to blog during my one free hour between my two jobs instead of eating lunch. But it's my blog, and I can write about anything I want. True, Blogger isn't the most powerful, feature-filled blogging tool in the universe, but it's free, and I can use it to share some of my thoughts and insights with the world, whether the world actually listens or not. The world will hear, eventually. I haven't given up yet.
I've sunk many, many hours into this. Is it worth it? It will be.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Puzzle Quest - The Hidden Addiction
When Puzzle Quest came out on DS, PSP, PC, Wii, PS2, PSN, and XBLA, I picked it up for $20. Yeah, it looked to be basically a Bejeweled clone, but it was a Bejeweled clone in which you could level up and cast spells and slay goblins! Awesome. I would play it on the toilet, where nobody would bother me, and I would often sit there until my legs fell asleep. "Just one more game," I would say to myself, "I wouldn't be able to stand up right now anyway, my feet are numb." Within days, I had already reached the last boss. It is not a short game. I was addicted. To a puzzle game. To a DS game! No way! But when I completed it, I put it away. Because it had an end point to the storyline, there was a time when it was eventually over. This is unlike other Tetris, or Lumines, or other puzzlers you can play ad nauseum. Does that hurt it as a brilliant game? I don't know...
When the year was up and I was looking over various Game of the Year awards in magazines and on the Internet, Puzzle Quest kept popping up as a final contender. I had played it (a lot) and yet had never considered it one of the greatest games of the year. This was pretty weird, because I don't want to play a bad game, no one does. Yet even though I sunk more time into it than just about any other game that year besides Oblivion, I discounted it subconsciously because of its simplicity and "casual" nature. A simple puzzle game can't be Game of the Year! But what makes Game of the Year? Is it addictiveness, a willingness to play it over all other games of its time? Because Puzzle Quest ensnared me completely, even with a simple, cliched fantasy plot and colorful yet unimpressive graphics that did their job and little else. Also, the music was just awful, and the loop was far too short for the amount of time an average person could sink into it. But I loved it. And I am hereby declaring it one of my favorite games of all time. Maybe Puzzle Kingdoms is good too...?
When the year was up and I was looking over various Game of the Year awards in magazines and on the Internet, Puzzle Quest kept popping up as a final contender. I had played it (a lot) and yet had never considered it one of the greatest games of the year. This was pretty weird, because I don't want to play a bad game, no one does. Yet even though I sunk more time into it than just about any other game that year besides Oblivion, I discounted it subconsciously because of its simplicity and "casual" nature. A simple puzzle game can't be Game of the Year! But what makes Game of the Year? Is it addictiveness, a willingness to play it over all other games of its time? Because Puzzle Quest ensnared me completely, even with a simple, cliched fantasy plot and colorful yet unimpressive graphics that did their job and little else. Also, the music was just awful, and the loop was far too short for the amount of time an average person could sink into it. But I loved it. And I am hereby declaring it one of my favorite games of all time. Maybe Puzzle Kingdoms is good too...?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mom's Day
It's Mother's Day... did you get her a card? Did you get her a Mother's Day version DS with Personal Trainer: Cooking? No? I hope not, that would probably just insult her. Cookbooks are bad ideas - they imply that you don't like her cooking. $150 cookbooks are very expensive bad ideas. Not to mention that the green DS Lite that you can get with the bundle is the only place you can find it, making it sure to be a collector's item someday, and also making sure that everyone knows that you got it from a son that really doesn't like your cooking. Yay for public embarrassment!
Not saying that moms don't like to play video games. I got my own mom Bejeweled Twist just this last Christmas, and I'm sure she loves it. It's true that they probably won't play the next iteration of Wolfenstein or Fallout, but there is enough room in the world for "casual gamers" that only like to play a quick game of Peggle before bed or to unwind after a long day at work. What's more, today's casual gamers could be tomorrow's hardcore gamers. Just because you're friends are excited about Lego Rock Band and you have no desire to even see it take up store shelves doesn't mean it won't give you two someething to talk about when he grows up to playing the real Rock Band. Come on, can't we all just get along? Moms, nerds, little brothers, and dogs? Yes, dogs too... don't be racist (humanist?). Just put some kibbles on your Wii-mote and let Fido go to town on it. I guarantee he'll win at least one match in Super Smash Brothers.
Not saying that moms don't like to play video games. I got my own mom Bejeweled Twist just this last Christmas, and I'm sure she loves it. It's true that they probably won't play the next iteration of Wolfenstein or Fallout, but there is enough room in the world for "casual gamers" that only like to play a quick game of Peggle before bed or to unwind after a long day at work. What's more, today's casual gamers could be tomorrow's hardcore gamers. Just because you're friends are excited about Lego Rock Band and you have no desire to even see it take up store shelves doesn't mean it won't give you two someething to talk about when he grows up to playing the real Rock Band. Come on, can't we all just get along? Moms, nerds, little brothers, and dogs? Yes, dogs too... don't be racist (humanist?). Just put some kibbles on your Wii-mote and let Fido go to town on it. I guarantee he'll win at least one match in Super Smash Brothers.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Minimum-Wage Games = Fun?
Minimum-wage work is the bane of a teenager's existence, yet it is a necessary evil to for him to afford gas, booze, and freedom from being forced to survive under his parents' constant observation and oppression. It's not fun. It's work. How can a game company make a game out of it? They can, apparently, and they do. Here's a partial list I came up with of entirely un-fun jobs that have been converted to game form:
- Order Up! - fast food
- Diner Dash - waitressing
- Cooking Mama - cook
- Harvest Moon - farmer
- Courier Crisis - bike messenger
- Crazy Taxi - cabbie
How do game companies pick their games' subjects? "Hey, working the register at a gas station is accessible enough to be done by a trained monkey... Let's make that into a WiiWare game!" Strangely, even the games that don't over-emphasize the danger and excitement of these menial jobs (like Crazy Taxi's over-the-top presentation and gameplay) still have a large element of fun to them. Harvest Moon is a great example. In it, you are a farmer. You grow crops, trade with townspeople, till your soil... standard farm stuff. Still, thousands of gamers buy the newest installment each time it's released and sink dozens upon dozens of hours into their virtual farm. For what? They are left with no real, tangible carrots to eat, and they don't have the satisfaction of actually cleaning the horse manure out of a stall with a shovel. Is Harvest Moon better than real farming because there's no poop smell? Is it because the virtual progression of crops is so much faster than in reality? Is it because gamers don't get sweaty using a virtual hoe? Maybe.
Today's game market is so over-saturated by "me-too" titles that game developers will look to exploit any untapped subject in an effort to appear innovative. When Wii Fit was released, it was a huge success. It was the type of "game" that hadn't really been tried seriously before, and Nintendo's risky move paid off in a huge way - Wii Fit is now one of the best-selling games of all time, and it's still incredibly difficult to find the game on store shelves. Sure, Order Up is a fast food simulator, but how many times have you seen one of those before? It even embraced it's demographic by including a paper hat and a $20 price tag. It will not be a best seller, ever. But there still exist so many untapped game subjects and gameplay innovations that I, for one, would try anything once. You don't want the only new games in the future to be Madden 2021 and Tony Hawk 19, do you? You'd better not.
- Order Up! - fast food
- Diner Dash - waitressing
- Cooking Mama - cook
- Harvest Moon - farmer
- Courier Crisis - bike messenger
- Crazy Taxi - cabbie
How do game companies pick their games' subjects? "Hey, working the register at a gas station is accessible enough to be done by a trained monkey... Let's make that into a WiiWare game!" Strangely, even the games that don't over-emphasize the danger and excitement of these menial jobs (like Crazy Taxi's over-the-top presentation and gameplay) still have a large element of fun to them. Harvest Moon is a great example. In it, you are a farmer. You grow crops, trade with townspeople, till your soil... standard farm stuff. Still, thousands of gamers buy the newest installment each time it's released and sink dozens upon dozens of hours into their virtual farm. For what? They are left with no real, tangible carrots to eat, and they don't have the satisfaction of actually cleaning the horse manure out of a stall with a shovel. Is Harvest Moon better than real farming because there's no poop smell? Is it because the virtual progression of crops is so much faster than in reality? Is it because gamers don't get sweaty using a virtual hoe? Maybe.
Today's game market is so over-saturated by "me-too" titles that game developers will look to exploit any untapped subject in an effort to appear innovative. When Wii Fit was released, it was a huge success. It was the type of "game" that hadn't really been tried seriously before, and Nintendo's risky move paid off in a huge way - Wii Fit is now one of the best-selling games of all time, and it's still incredibly difficult to find the game on store shelves. Sure, Order Up is a fast food simulator, but how many times have you seen one of those before? It even embraced it's demographic by including a paper hat and a $20 price tag. It will not be a best seller, ever. But there still exist so many untapped game subjects and gameplay innovations that I, for one, would try anything once. You don't want the only new games in the future to be Madden 2021 and Tony Hawk 19, do you? You'd better not.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Another Shadow of the Colossus post...
Sometimes, creative decisions regarding a game's content are based on the platform's technological limitations. Mario had red clothes on a blue background because the colors looked best on the limited palette of the NES. He wore a hat so Miyamoto wouldn't have to animate his hair. He had a mustache to hide his facial features because it was far easier than creating expressions on his tiny, pixelated head.
Fast forward twenty years, and graphics are infinitely better, but there are still limits. Shadow of the Colossus was critically revered as a masterpiece of modern gaming. The biggest complaint: the PS2 holds down the game from reaching its full potential. Graphics! No way. Can a beautiful game really be faulted with living on a system that is not powerful enough to support its weight? Well, of course it can. There was draw-in in the distance. Textures were grainy. Every creature in the grain had sharp edges that should have been smooth. The scale was terrific, but the game could have been better (read: more beautiful) if it had even waited for one more generation before being released.
For a PS2 game, SotC was pretty. However, when it was released, the 360 was set to come out the next month, and that was much, much prettier. If Colossus had been released 2 years earlier, right in the middle of the PS2's life cycle, it would have been much more appreciated. Comments on its non-beauty would be non-existent. Imagine if it was a lauch title! It would've blown TimeSplitters, Evergrace, and Summoner out of the water. Still, with technological advancements, you need to evolve and innovate. Even graphics. Yes, a game can be good without stellar imagery to stare at while you slice and dice enemies, but the fact of the matter is that you are going to be spending a good amount of hours in this digital world you just purchased, and graphics are the only thing you can see. Taking too long to develop a game (*cough*Too Human*cough*) makes its eventaul release unimportant, unimpressive, and unnecessary. It's a thin line to tread between getting a game on the market quickly and making sure it is bug-free. Gamers don't care about that. They want both.
Fast forward twenty years, and graphics are infinitely better, but there are still limits. Shadow of the Colossus was critically revered as a masterpiece of modern gaming. The biggest complaint: the PS2 holds down the game from reaching its full potential. Graphics! No way. Can a beautiful game really be faulted with living on a system that is not powerful enough to support its weight? Well, of course it can. There was draw-in in the distance. Textures were grainy. Every creature in the grain had sharp edges that should have been smooth. The scale was terrific, but the game could have been better (read: more beautiful) if it had even waited for one more generation before being released.
For a PS2 game, SotC was pretty. However, when it was released, the 360 was set to come out the next month, and that was much, much prettier. If Colossus had been released 2 years earlier, right in the middle of the PS2's life cycle, it would have been much more appreciated. Comments on its non-beauty would be non-existent. Imagine if it was a lauch title! It would've blown TimeSplitters, Evergrace, and Summoner out of the water. Still, with technological advancements, you need to evolve and innovate. Even graphics. Yes, a game can be good without stellar imagery to stare at while you slice and dice enemies, but the fact of the matter is that you are going to be spending a good amount of hours in this digital world you just purchased, and graphics are the only thing you can see. Taking too long to develop a game (*cough*Too Human*cough*) makes its eventaul release unimportant, unimpressive, and unnecessary. It's a thin line to tread between getting a game on the market quickly and making sure it is bug-free. Gamers don't care about that. They want both.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
R.I.P. 3D Realms
3D Realms is gone... and Duke Nukem Forever may actually never be released now instead of just probably never being released. 3D Realms, along with iD Software (John Carmack and the other guys who made DOOM) invented shareware and pretty much single-handedly crafted the PC game market as we know it. Also, they made Commander Keen, Duke Nukem, Prey, and one of my personal favorites as a kid, Blake Stone, a.k.a. Wolfenstein in space. Is this another case of the "recession-proof" video game industry being impacted by the recession? Or was 3d Realms merely demolished by its own practical joke-like existence? "When's this new game coming out, it seems like it's been delayed for years." "Probably right after Duke Nukem Forever HAHAHAHA!" Jerks.
The sad part is that 3D Realms was still planning on bringing DNF out... If you got all 200 achievement points in the recently revitalized Duke Nukem 3D game that was released on XBLA, you unlocked two screenshots for the game, proving that it was still in production after first being announced about 12 years ago. DNF is going to be the coolest vaporware since that hamster game that was announced for the Sega 32X. Remember that? No? Do you even remember the system? It had DOOM and Virtua Fighter on it, and it was cool. So was Duke Nukem. Sigh...
The sad part is that 3D Realms was still planning on bringing DNF out... If you got all 200 achievement points in the recently revitalized Duke Nukem 3D game that was released on XBLA, you unlocked two screenshots for the game, proving that it was still in production after first being announced about 12 years ago. DNF is going to be the coolest vaporware since that hamster game that was announced for the Sega 32X. Remember that? No? Do you even remember the system? It had DOOM and Virtua Fighter on it, and it was cool. So was Duke Nukem. Sigh...
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Too much nostalgia
There is a new Punch-Out game coming for Wii. It let's you use the classic controller, nearly all of the characters are re-hashed from old Punch-Outs, and the only thing that looks to be updated is the graphics. And the jump from SNES sprites to Wii graphics is not that huge of a jump, honestly. Next month, millions of people will pay $50 for a game they already have. There won't be an online component to school middle-aged Wii players across the country. There probably won't even be a multiplayer component aside from a few party/mini-games. You will memorize patterns and use your reflexes to defeat boxers you've already defeted while moving up through ranks you've already attained 20 years ago.
Nostalgia is nice. Street Fighter IV took the best of the old, polished it to perfection, and added new, improved features. Punch-Out is taking the best of the old, and polishing it to perfection... and that's it. There are supposedly only two new fighters in the whole game, and the only one revealed so far is the incredibly boring-looking Disco Kid. He flashes white before he punches. Oooohhh innovative! Not.
Nintendo fans are so starved for "hardcore" games that they will gobble up any game that even appears to allude to the company's former glory in the 8- and 16-bit days, even when the games bring absolutely nothing new to the table. I understand the mentality of remaking a game. It's a guaranteed seller in a market in which financial risks are increasingly hard to justify. Okami's poor sales single-handedly shut down an entire studio. Still, while Nintendo fans may not always crave something completely different from what they've played before (who wouldn't want to play the next Metroid or Mario?), they do want something better than what we've already seen. Without progress there is only stagnation, and the Wii is starting to stink.
Nostalgia is nice. Street Fighter IV took the best of the old, polished it to perfection, and added new, improved features. Punch-Out is taking the best of the old, and polishing it to perfection... and that's it. There are supposedly only two new fighters in the whole game, and the only one revealed so far is the incredibly boring-looking Disco Kid. He flashes white before he punches. Oooohhh innovative! Not.
Nintendo fans are so starved for "hardcore" games that they will gobble up any game that even appears to allude to the company's former glory in the 8- and 16-bit days, even when the games bring absolutely nothing new to the table. I understand the mentality of remaking a game. It's a guaranteed seller in a market in which financial risks are increasingly hard to justify. Okami's poor sales single-handedly shut down an entire studio. Still, while Nintendo fans may not always crave something completely different from what they've played before (who wouldn't want to play the next Metroid or Mario?), they do want something better than what we've already seen. Without progress there is only stagnation, and the Wii is starting to stink.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Irritabiltiy
Penny Arcade isn't the only nerdy webcomic on the 'Net. My other favorite is Irritability. It used to be in a Texas university newspaper, but now the author only makes a new one when he feels like it (he's only done three this year). Not as consistent as PA's 3-per-week, but still welcome when one shows up out of nowhere, although he claims to update "most Mondays." If you haven't seen it before, it stars a Dragonball Z-like character named Chappy Chappy and other adventurer-types that have wild, often incredibly geeky, antics. There are over 700 comics in the archives here, but they don't start getting really funny until a few months in. Some are just lame puns, some are classic video game or D&D references, some are just off-the-wall weird. It interested the world to the term "ho-bag" and was the first place I ever saw head legs, long before Futurama ever used them as sewer mutants. Check it out if you have a few hours to kill on a lonely, rainy afternoon.
Here are a few of my favorites:
Server Down!
Petroid Arrives
There's more... but I can't find them now. You do it!
Here are a few of my favorites:
Server Down!
Petroid Arrives
There's more... but I can't find them now. You do it!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
My New Idea
I'm going to start my own video game review website. But it's going to be different. I don't know if you would call it a gimmick, or just a unique way of looking at the games. Unfortunately, I'll be reviewing games in a way that won't get my reviews on GameRankings.com or MetaCritic. Oh well. Also, I don't want to give away too many ideas here, because the domain name I want to use is still available, and, on the Internet, anyone can steal your ideas. But I got a Creating Web Pages for Dummies book, and I have game knowledge, and I have a great idea. I don't see it becoming as popular as Penny Acade, or anything, but that would be nice. I'll be sure to keep my 5 or so readers updated with its progress... and hopefully it'll turn out to be just dandy. Wish me luck!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
"Department" Stores
Florida has a Department of Citrus. It seems random and obscure, but the truth is that oranges and other citrus-y things are so important to the economy of Florida that it needs an entire governmental angency to make sure the input and output stay consistent enough that the state's economy keeps going. That's some powerful fruit. According to the stats I could find right on the suprisingly easy-to-navigate site, Florida made over $3.6 billion during the 2007-08 season on orange juice alone. In 2005, video games made over $10.5 billion, and that number has grown every year since then. Where are the government agencies protecting/regulating video games?
Certainly there's enough business generated by games to justify one. Seattle has Nintendo creating jobs and aiding the economy. And Silicon Valley has been the geek center of the universe for decades. We have, what, the ESRB? Woo. Instead of a group trying to help increase visibility, sales, and acceptability as an art form, gamers are left with nothing more than a glorified censoring agency. Instead of helping the world recognize the kind of innovative games we should be playing, we have a group pointing out all the things that are wrong with our favorite pastime. This self-regulation is not even good enough to prevent government interference, because every once in a while a Hot Coffee scandal makes every parent in the world fear for their children's innocence. Here's an idea, moms and dads... play the games your kids are playing first, or play them with them, to understand exactly what it is you are condemning. A game won't teach morality any more than a TV show will, and it's true - both of those things have some degree of power over the impressionable minds of children (otherwise, why would there even be Biblical programming attempting to teach morality lessons?). Don't use PlayStations and TV's as babysitters. There's nothing protecting games from people that would misuse them besides the parents. Scanning the buyer's driver's license barcode (Target) only goes so far. Jack Thompson is lurking in the shadows! He's disbarred, but he's not declawed, and neither is the rest of the world.
Certainly there's enough business generated by games to justify one. Seattle has Nintendo creating jobs and aiding the economy. And Silicon Valley has been the geek center of the universe for decades. We have, what, the ESRB? Woo. Instead of a group trying to help increase visibility, sales, and acceptability as an art form, gamers are left with nothing more than a glorified censoring agency. Instead of helping the world recognize the kind of innovative games we should be playing, we have a group pointing out all the things that are wrong with our favorite pastime. This self-regulation is not even good enough to prevent government interference, because every once in a while a Hot Coffee scandal makes every parent in the world fear for their children's innocence. Here's an idea, moms and dads... play the games your kids are playing first, or play them with them, to understand exactly what it is you are condemning. A game won't teach morality any more than a TV show will, and it's true - both of those things have some degree of power over the impressionable minds of children (otherwise, why would there even be Biblical programming attempting to teach morality lessons?). Don't use PlayStations and TV's as babysitters. There's nothing protecting games from people that would misuse them besides the parents. Scanning the buyer's driver's license barcode (Target) only goes so far. Jack Thompson is lurking in the shadows! He's disbarred, but he's not declawed, and neither is the rest of the world.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Turtle Power!
TMNT IV: Turtles in Time is going to be released on Xbox Live, and maybe also on WiiWare and PlayStation Network. It's based on the original arcade version (not the SNES one), and has updated 3D graphics. I own the original on SNES (I paid $20 for it too, that's a lot for a non-RPG Super Nintendo game!), and even though I could beat it in half an hour, it was still awesome! I try not to buy games that I already own... but I may have to make an exception for this like I did for Final Fantasy VI when it was re-released on Game Boy Advance. Woe is me!
...Heroes in a half-shell - turtle power! Sorry couldn't help myself. Everyone watched the Ninja Turtles show as a kid, but I got a bit of it on DVD on sale a while back and it doesn't really do it for me anymore. Puns are stupid, and that's all they spouted! Ugh, I used to be a dumb little kid too. Batman: The Animated Series is just as amazing and beautiful as I remember, however. And I just got the old animated X-Men series today too... hope it doesn't suck! I don't know how they determine which shows will stand up over time and still be at least palatable as an adult viewer. The Super Mario Bros. Super Show was a bad as Turtles, yet Sonic is still not bad, despite being voiced by Jaleel "Erkel" White. Now that there just don't make a lick'a sense!
...Heroes in a half-shell - turtle power! Sorry couldn't help myself. Everyone watched the Ninja Turtles show as a kid, but I got a bit of it on DVD on sale a while back and it doesn't really do it for me anymore. Puns are stupid, and that's all they spouted! Ugh, I used to be a dumb little kid too. Batman: The Animated Series is just as amazing and beautiful as I remember, however. And I just got the old animated X-Men series today too... hope it doesn't suck! I don't know how they determine which shows will stand up over time and still be at least palatable as an adult viewer. The Super Mario Bros. Super Show was a bad as Turtles, yet Sonic is still not bad, despite being voiced by Jaleel "Erkel" White. Now that there just don't make a lick'a sense!
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