NEW BATMAN GAME!

I was really excited for the new Arkham Asylum game... until I saw a gameplay video on my Xbox. First off, it's an Eidos game. You know, the guys that ran the Tomb Raider franchise into the ground. Over, and over, and over. And then they got bought out by Square Enix. Because they suck.

Arkham Asylum is going to be a stealth game that just happens to have Batman in it. Sure, they got the voices from Batman: The Animated Series (Kevin Conroy and Mark "Skywalker" Hamill), but that's just not good enough. This will be a darker version of Hitman with cooler gadgets. Hitman was sloooooowwwww. I'm Batman. I don't want to hide in the shadows and sneak around all slowey! I want to kick some henchman butt with my funkey gadgets, then kick some Killer Croc and Joker butt, also with my funky gadgets, crazy intelligence, and millions of dollars. I know Batman sneaks around in the shadows and is one with the night... but I want to be the fun, exciting, cool parts of Batman. Maybe there is a small chance that the game will work; Eidos did create Desu Ex, after all. But B:AA isn't Deus Ex. It's Tomb Raider and Hitman. Bleh.

Ever seen a video for MadWorld on Wii? The game looks cool, and stylish, and gore-tastic, and fun. But you see the game in action, it's not that interesting. You run around, grab people, and toss them into sharp objects for five hours. Weeee...

XIII had style too. But the hit detection was shoddy and the graphics, while interesting, were actually kind of ugly. Also, the controls always felt a little... off. It had a sweet soundtrack and a huge amount of style, but that wouldn't save it. It won't save Batman either. Arkham Asylum will sell millions, and fanboys will love it, but it will not be a classic. It will be just another slow-paced Eidos disappointment. Oh well.

Turtle Power!

TMNT IV: Turtles in Time is going to be released on Xbox Live, and maybe also on WiiWare and PlayStation Network. It's based on the original arcade version (not the SNES one), and has updated 3D graphics. I own the original on SNES (I paid $20 for it too, that's a lot for a non-RPG Super Nintendo game!), and even though I could beat it in half an hour, it was still awesome! I try not to buy games that I already own... but I may have to make an exception for this like I did for Final Fantasy VI when it was re-released on Game Boy Advance. Woe is me!



...Heroes in a half-shell - turtle power! Sorry couldn't help myself. Everyone watched the Ninja Turtles show as a kid, but I got a bit of it on DVD on sale a while back and it doesn't really do it for me anymore. Puns are stupid, and that's all they spouted! Ugh, I used to be a dumb little kid too. Batman: The Animated Series is just as amazing and beautiful as I remember, however. And I just got the old animated X-Men series today too... hope it doesn't suck! I don't know how they determine which shows will stand up over time and still be at least palatable as an adult viewer. The Super Mario Bros. Super Show was a bad as Turtles, yet Sonic is still not bad, despite being voiced by Jaleel "Erkel" White. Now that there just don't make a lick'a sense!

Cocky.

The new Batman game, Batman: Arkham Asylum, is claimed to be "close to perfect" by Eidos bigwigs. Sony execs are calling Nintendo's new DSi "a failure" that doesn't cater to more than a demographic of children.

Can we get back to focusing on the games? Please? There's enough hate in our world, and it's going in the dumpster. We don't have to light that dumpster on fire as well.

If you really think you're the best, prove it. Actions, not words.