Review: Metroid: Zero Mission on GBA

Zero Mission is, firstly, a remake of the original Metroid on NES. The original Metroid is widely regarded as a classic of... classic systems. Still, have you played it recently? It's wildly difficult because there's only one direction you can aim, and you will get lost without a map more than you'd like to admit. Zero Mission is less of a direct remake, and more of a re-imagining. It's an improvement in every way. If the original Metroid had sex with Super Metroid and shrunk to GBA size, this would be the spawn of their cartridgey loins. You can shoot in angles and squat. There's super missles. There are hidden secrets everywhere. This is Metroid-vania at it's finest. The graphics are crisp and colorful and the animations bring classic enemies to new life. The sounds and music drip of nostalgia and make you fall in love with Samus Aran all over again.

There are very few complaints I can come up with. One is that once you start finding the extra energy tanks packed into planet Zebes, the game gets pretty easy. None of the bosses pose much of a challenge, but the exploration aspect makes up for it. You always feel like you're discovering something new, and Samus continually improves in tangible ways. Also, the levels added into Zero Mission that were not in the original Metroid are beautifully crafted and full of clever puzzles and uses for your suit's upgrades. Unfortunately, this reminds you that the original levels were rather sparse and uninteresting. Maybe they should have just remade the entire game with all new levels, a la Master Quest (the Ocarina of Time remake on Gamecube)? Maybe Nintendo left them in and merely added to them for nostalgic fanboys.

One last note: the last level level packs in so much action that you may poop your pants a little. The final boss, Mother Brain, reminds you that classic games were TOUGH, and the appearance of the metroids remind you just how much you hated them when you were a kid. And then, here's the kicker... Mother Brain isn't the final boss! There's even more game after you think you won, and it's all heart-pounding and awesome. This trip down memory lane is well worth taking, and you can find this game at GameStop for $7 in their glass case. Get it.

Warning: if you play this while you're on the toilet, you'll forget what you were supposed to be doing in there, and you will sit there playing Metroid until your legs fall asleep. Don't fall on your Game Boy when you stand up with wobble-legs.

Rating: 9.5/10