Wii Sex

There are sooooo many Wii-mote add-ons, ranging from the obvious (tennis rackets, baseball bats, guns, swords/light sabers) to the ridiculous (Cooking Mama's fork, spoon, and spatula combo is a personal favorite). Why not make an add-on you can actually use? Behold, introducing... the Wii Wang! Yep. A dildo remote. The controller already vibrates. Once Nintendo brings out their motion plus 1:1 remote (finally delivering on the promises left unfulfilled by the original controller) they can bring out their AO-rated Wii Sex and the pseudo-sequel Wii Suck (oral for the masses). The "trainers" from Wii Fit can break out of their roles like Mario did when he refereed Punch-Out, only it'll be slightly hotter. It'll even have the same demographic as Wii Fit: lonely middle-aged moms. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to make the Wii-mote into a vagina... yet.

This isn't too far-fetched. When Rez came out on the PS2 in Japan, you could get it with a "trance vibrator" so your girlfriend could play with you. Maybe Wii Sex will just come out in Japan. All I know is that if it's not first-party, it will suck. Just like everything else. Yay Wii.